Somewhere between treating children and guiding parents, I realized the greatest transformation was happening within me
Reverse Parenting: The Shifts That Shaped My Practice
I completed my post-graduation in 2011 and stepped into independent practice in 2012— academically prepared, enthusiastic, and deeply inspired by the philosophy of pediatric dentistry.
Over the years, I have realised that my growth as a pediatric dentist did not happen in one dramatic moment. It happened in shifts — subtle, layered, and deeply transformative.
This is my journey of what I call reverse parenting.
The Early Phase: Clinical Knowledge, Emotional Hesitation
In my initial years, most of the parents who brought their children to me were significantly older than I was. I was the young pediatric dentist in the room — confident in theory and committed to ideal protocols.
I wanted to save every tooth that could be saved.
I wanted to practice textbook pediatric dentistry.
I wanted to do it all — for every child.
Yet, internally, I hesitated.
When I diagnosed cases , I explained the procedure confidently. But when it came to recommending finer treatments, I often paused.
Would they accept this treatment plan?
Would they think it was too aggressive?
Would they feel it was too expensive?
Would they question this young doctor?
At times, I softened my suggestions. Occasionally, I stepped back. Not because the treatment was unnecessary, but because I was unsure of how it would be perceived.
In this phase, acceptance from parents felt closely linked to my own confidence.
The First Shift: From Seeking Approval to Seeking Alignment
With time, experience, and clinical outcomes came clarity.
I realised that my responsibility was not to anticipate parental resistance but to present what I truly believed was best for the child.
I began asking myself one simple question:
Would I do this for my own child?
If the answer was yes, I recommended it — clearly and confidently.
That shift changed my communication. My tone became calmer. My explanations became simpler. I no longer diluted recommendations to make them more “acceptable.”
Conviction replaced hesitation.
And I discovered something important — parents do not resist clarity. They resist uncertainty.
The Second Shift: Expanding from a Dentist’s Lens to a Parent’s Lens
When I began my practice, I had only one perspective — the pediatric dentist’s perspective.
I saw pathology, prognosis, space maintenance, long-term occlusion.
Everything was clinical.
With age came another lens — the parent’s lens.
Now, hesitation became concern.
Questioning became responsibility and not suspision.
And Anxiety became love.
I started understanding that parents were not evaluating me; they were protecting their child.
This dual perspective deepened my conversations. I was no longer just explaining procedures — I was addressing emotions.
Reverse Parenting: The Interplay of Two Evolutions
When I started practice, I was treating children whose parents were much older than me. Today, many of the parents who walk into my clinic are younger than I am.
The shift was not merely chronological — it was psychological.
Parents evolved and so did I
Now, what happens in my operatory is an interplay between the kind of parents who come to me and the kind of parent I have become in my thinking.
When I speak to parents today, I consciously intertwine both perspectives.
I step into their shoes — but through my own value system. If something is acceptable to me as a parent, I can explain it with complete conviction as a dentist.
That alignment has become the foundation of my practice.
The Fourth Shift: From Hearsay to Informed Conversations
In my early years, parents were not particularly tech-savvy. Information travelled differently.
Parents often relied on what they felt was right or what they had heard from relatives, neighbours, or prior experiences — sometimes even before fully absorbing what the doctor was explaining. Decisions were influenced by hearsay as much as by consultation.
Today, the scenario is entirely different.
The younger parents who walk into my clinic are informed. They have Googled the procedure. They have watched videos. They may have read blogs. And so have most of us, when faced with a health concern.
So why should we feel unsettled when parents do it?
Information, in itself, is not the problem. It increases awareness.
The concern arises only when online information replaces professional judgment instead of complementing it.
Over time, I realised that informed parents were not a hurdle — they were an opportunity.
Discussions became more meaningful. I could explain options more deeply. In many cases, I would even say, “Please read about this and we will discuss it at the next visit.”
Most came back clearer — and often in agreement.
This shift made my practice easier, not harder. It fostered shared decision-making rather than blind acceptance.
The Fifth Shift: Challenging My Own Assumptions
Another subtle transformation happened in how I structured my practice.
In the beginning, I worked only in the evenings. I assumed parents would never bring children in the morning because of school schedules.
I never questioned that assumption.
Later, when my academic commitments reduced, I opened morning appointments. I began explaining that longer procedures were often smoother when children were fresh and well-rested.
Parents agreed.
Willingly. Repeatedly.
Very few declined.
Today, many of my mornings, are as busy as my evenings.
That experience taught me something humbling:
Sometimes, what we perceive as parental limitation is actually our own assumption.
And Then There Are the Grandparents…
Just when I thought I had understood the dynamics of pediatric dentistry, I realised there is still one group I am learning to fully embrace — the grandparents.
In my early years, I found them… challenging.
They melted when the child cried.
They negotiated when the child resisted...
They sometimes overrode instructions with affection.
Even now, I must admit, a small part of me braces myself when I see a grandparent accompanying the child.
But perhaps that, too, is perspective waiting to evolve.
If parents carry responsibility, grandparents carry attachment.
If parents bring anxiety, grandparents bring indulgence.
Their reactions are not interference — they are love in its purest, most unfiltered form.
Maybe accepting grandparents with the same calm dignity I now extend to parents is simply a matter of time.
After all, perspective seems to grow with greys.
What These Shifts Taught Me
Looking back, the evolution of my practice was not about new materials or techniques.
It was about mindset.
From hesitation to conviction.
From hesitation to conviction.
From hesitation to conviction.
From hearsay to informed collaboration
From assumption to communication.
And perhaps this shift in perspective has something to do with my greys — whether it is the grey hair that quietly appeared over the years, or the grey matter that matured alongside . And my friends who know me here will surely vote for the former!
Reverse parenting, for me, is not about age alone.
It is about perspective.
It is about aligning clinical knowledge with parental understanding — and confidently doing what is best for the child
Because in pediatric dentistry, growth does not happen only in our patients.
It happens in us.
I just want to leave you all with one thought “ Perhaps maturity in pediatric dentistry begins the day our perspective grows faster than our patient list- and often accompanied by a few GREYS